How to Get Your Ex to Leave You Alone

Only when you get your ex to go away can you move on with your life.
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Some exes move on quickly and quietly, and find somebody else to date. But others are more persistent, refusing to believe the relationship is over. Learn how to make your ex understand that you don’t want to be with him anymore -- without making the breakup situation worse.

1 Separate Yourself

To clear your mind from this person and gain perspective on the situation, you must be free from her company. The situation will not resolve itself. You need time away from your ex partner’s influence, according to an article on YourTango, "Breakup Advice: Is Your Stalker Ex Driving You Crazy?” Don’t answer her calls and don’t have anything to do with her until she concludes that the relationship cannot be salvaged.

2 Be Honest

If you have to talk with him and there is no way to avoid discussing the situation, you can still tell him to keep his distance. This is particularly true in school and work situations. Impress upon him the need for you to be alone so you both can heal, says Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., in an article for "Psychology Today." Make sure he knows where you stand about the relationship, and that there can be no doubt you do not want him around.

3 Stand Up

Sometimes you may need to call for backup. This is especially true if your ex will not leave you alone after you've asked him politely. He may be intentionally harassing you. Many people are reluctant to complain about being harassed by former partners because they are too shy to speak up, according to a journal article by Stephanie Riger. If you can’t get your ex to leave you alone, call an older person or someone in authority to help you out. Be bold and unafraid to speak up and speak out.

4 Hang Out

One of the best ways to discourage an ex from bothering you is to spend as much time with your friends as possible. Your ex will be much less willing to talk to you about her broken heart if you are with a large group, so try this tactic when heading out in public. She will feel uncomfortable confronting you when you’re surrounded by your friends, and this can help you feel safer as well. Eventually when she sees that she cannot get you alone, it may discourage her from trying to contact you.

Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since 2000. She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City.