Dating a Girl With Brains

The belief that smart women have difficulty finding partners is a myth, according to sociologist Christine B. Whelan, Ph.D., in her book “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women.” Dating a girl with brains can be intimidating, especially if you think she’s smarter than you are. Approach her with confidence and expect that she will enjoy dating a guy who appreciates her brain and her looks.

Appreciate your date for who she is. Get to know what lies beyond her intellect. Find out what she likes to do to relax or things she did as a child. Make her feel special, suggests dating expert and behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D., in “I’m Smarter Than My Date: What Do I Do?” That includes complimenting and appreciating more than her brain. Compliment what she’s wearing or her new hairstyle -- yes, take the time to notice. Go to a movie and ask her how she enjoyed it or how it could have been done better. Treat her like a regular girl, not just a brain.

Give an intelligent girl someone who is her equal in many ways. Encourage her to let her lights shine as you shine yours. If she wants to spar with you intellectually, keep up and find areas where you both have information to share and learn . You should both feel you are dating equals and that you can learn from one another. Mutual respect and partnership will make your dates more enjoyable and exciting.

Very intelligent individuals are often very achievement-oriented, according to Dr. Alex Benzer, M.D., in “Why the Smartest People Have the Toughest Time Dating.” Ask her questions about things she enjoys or has accomplished. Show an interest and appreciation in the answers. Find some common interests to share together, such as visiting a museum, reading a book together or taking the same class. If she like sports, take in a game together. She will appreciate your interest and willingness to do things she enjoys.

A smart, educated female who succeeds is sexy and attractive, according to Whelan’s analysis of multiple research studies, although a smart woman often marries later in life than her less-educated peers to account for the length of time it takes to get advanced degrees. The smart woman often refuses to settle for less than someone who is her equal. If you find her attractive, intelligent on par with your intelligence and capable, take the time to woo and win her while she's young and on her way up. Let her know you find her intelligence sexy and you won’t settle for a girl who doesn’t challenge your intellect.