How to Change an Acquaintance Into a Close Friend

Making friends can take some extra effort. If you want to be closer to an acquaintance then you will have to work on being more outgoing, reliable and friendly. Remember though that it takes two to make a relationship work. Your acquaintance must be interested in getting closer to you as well, or even your best efforts will not create a closer friendship with him.

Contact your acquaintance more frequently. If you have her number, start calling more regularly. Connect through social media or email. Start paying more attention to her posts, making comments and “liking.” Open up and share things about yourself that you are comfortable talking about with someone who is not yet close. Ask more open-ended questions. These will give you more information about the other person than a simple “yes” or “no.” You can ask questions that start with "How do you feel about...," or "What do you think of..." Through this form of give and take you will begin to uncover what you have in common, notes the article, “Friendship Building,” on the website of the University of Florida. Talk about your family, the things you like and don’t like, your hobbies and goals.

Find different ways and means to connect with this person. Sometimes you may have to be the one to research different events and invite your acquaintance out, notes psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker, in her article, “Turning Acquaintances Into Friends,” on Psych Central online. It shouldn’t matter who is doing the planning and the inviting. What is important is that you get to hang out and you actually enjoy being with this person. Invite him out to see a new movie with a favorite actor. Make plans to attend the upcoming baseball game together. Invite him to play some of your favorite computer games online.

Work on building trust and showing that you are reliable. Without trust your new friendship will die very soon after being born. Start by showing that you are trustworthy. Keep your word. Do what you say you are going to do. Call if you say you will and show up when you’re supposed to. Don’t share anything that your acquaintance tells you unless it is common knowledge. You can show her how reliable you can be by asking her directly what information she is not comfortable with you telling anyone else.

Lend a helping hand when you can. Hold the door open when you are walking together. Help with an assignment or with studying for an upcoming test. Collect the work he missed from being absent so that he doesn't get left behind. Don't hesitate to help when he asks for your assistance. Do favors for him. Surprise him with a special treat such as a sweet from your lunch. Being kind and willing to help can close the gap between acquaintanceship and friendship, because a good friend is someone you can rely on through thick and thin.