How Can I Show Him I Care if I'm Shy?

Show a guy you care with small thoughtful gestures.
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If your shy side is stopping you from letting a guy know you care, realize that love can be communicated in many ways. You don't have to shower him with physical affection to make your point -- sometimes simple acts of kindness can have a big impact. Putting thought and effort into your actions will show him how you feel.

1 Put It In Writing

If you are too shy to talk about your feelings for a guy, consider putting it in writing, says sociology professor Pepper Schwartz, quoted in the Canadian Living article, "Relationship Advice: How to Be a More Affectionate Partner." Sign off your emails or texts with the words, "Thinking of you," or write him a love letter telling him how you feel. Instead of listing all of his great qualities, tell him how he makes you feel or how he has changed your life for the better.

2 Be a Good Listener

Draw on your natural strengths as a listener. As a shy person, you probably do more listening than talking. Focus on your partner and ignore your feelings of shyness, advises social and personality psychologist Jeremy Nicholson in the Psychology Today article, "How to Reduce Dating Anxiety." Listen to his words and watch his body language, such as whether he looks relaxed and happy or closed and tense. Pay careful attention and ask questions about his day. He will know that you care.

3 Be Thoughtful

Go beyond the expected and do something thoughtful that he will remember -- that doesn't require any words. For example, if he talks about needing a new pair of gloves, give him some for his birthday. Instead of picking up a store-bought card for Valentine's Day, craft a unique one at home. Pay attention to what he says and how he needs help. Be ready to step in with a loving gesture. Your actions will reflect the way you feel without having to say a word.

4 Use Kind Words

Show a guy you care with words -- and at the same time practice moving beyond shyness, as suggested in the Teens Health article, "Shyness." For example, if he is known for his volunteering efforts, say something like, "It is really kind of you to offer your time to the soup kitchen." Learning how to give genuine compliments and words of praise will show how much you appreciate him, and also build confidence in your ability to share your feelings.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.