You’re having a good time with your girlfriend, enjoying the warm weather together. You notice that your conversation with her has stopped. Uh oh. Worse, she’s looking at you and waiting for you to think of something to say. It’s during times like these that you need to be able to think on your feet, and come up with stuff to talk about.
Why Words Can Fail You
Understand that this situation is nerve-racking. It’s difficult to think of stuff to talk about when you’re worried about making a good impression. You want her to continue liking you. So, you’ve put a ton of pressure on yourself to keep things going smoothly. Ironically, this pressure is making it difficult for you to think straight!
Say, “Hello,” to your fellow passenger, because she’s in the same boat as you! She doesn’t know what to say, either. That’s why you’re faced with an awkward silence.
Know that this situation doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with your relationship. It is completely normal for you to struggle with finding things to talk about with your girlfriend. All relationships will go through a phase like yours.
Become a Man of Many Words
Ask questions. You can master the art of getting your girlfriend to talk about herself by asking thoughtful questions that will deepen the conversation and show you were listening. Say things like, “And then what happened?” after she tells a story to help keep the conversation flowing.
Also, get into the habit of asking her questions about her everyday experiences. For example, if you notice a scar or a birthmark, ask her about it, suggests Amy Shearn in the article, "Conversation Starters for the Tongue-Tied," on the website Oprah.com. You may think these kinds of questions seem silly, but they communicate that you are interested in her whole life, which will make her feel good.
Be active. If you plan a new kind of date with her, this will naturally spur new stuff to talk about. Try to find things to do that involve communicating together so that you can have a conversation about what you’re doing. For example, if you play miniature golf with her or walk around an amusement park, you will have to talk about the game or which sites to see next. If your girlfriend seems particularly competitive during miniature golf or in trying to win that cute stuffed animal, make a humorous comment about it. Then, see if she starts discussing her history of playing games or sports.
Stay current. If you read something new every day, you will always have instant conversation starters on hand, suggests an article on YourTango.com entitled, “10 Things Happy Couples Talk About.” So, if you’re in the middle of reading an interesting book, make a mental not of the things about it that your girlfriend may find interesting. Or, if you run across an article about your girlfriend’s favorite actress, read it and then bring it up later when there is a lull in the conversation.
- Don’t talk about yourself too much just to avoid awkward silences. You will appear self-absorbed.
- Allow your girlfriend to take some responsibility for finding things to talk about with you, as well.
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