You ran into your ex, and when she innocently asked you to grab a drink and catch up, you obliged. Even though it was all conversation and no romance, you aren't sure how your current girlfriend will react. With two options in front of you -- opening up and being honest or keeping it to yourself -- deciding which way to go could make or break your relationship.
To Tell the Truth
Honesty is a must if you want your partner to trust you, notes the TeensHealth article "Am I in a Healthy Relationship?" Telling your girlfriend that you had drinks with an ex shows her that she can trust you and that you have nothing to hide. Even though your evening out with your ex was purely innocent, if your girl caches you lying about it, she may start having doubts. Getting it out in the open is one way to demonstrate your trustworthiness and prove that she has nothing to worry about.
When Honesty Isn't the Best Policy
Although honesty is certainly part of a trusting relationship, you might find times when it isn't the best policy. Keeping mum may contradict the idea of being open with your partner, but staying silent is sometimes called for. This isn't to say that you should lie to your girl, but instead choose to confide in her at an appropriate time in an appropriate way. Avoid telling your partner that you had drinks with an ex when you're angry or feeling spiteful. For example, if you're in the middle of a spat with your girl or you feel like she's taking you for granted, don't fire back with a vengeful sounding, "You should appreciate me more. I went out with my ex the other night and she still cares about me!"
Keep It Constructive
Before you 'fess up, consider if what you're about to say is constructive for your partner to hear, suggests relationships therapist Jamie Turndorf in her article "Why Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy" for Psychology Today. Will telling your current girlfriend about seeing your ex help your relationship or hurt it? Don't think only about how it will help or hurt you personally. Look at how the news will affect your partner as well. Will she appreciate the honesty or will it hurt her feelings? The answer to that question can help you shape the way that you tell her, if at all.
Respect Your Girlfriend
Respect is an essential ingredient in any romantic partnership, reports the article "What's Your Relationship Reality?" on Stayteen.org. Not telling your girlfriend about seeing your ex may seem disrespectful in the event that she finds out on her own -- for example, if your girl's best friend saw you with your ex and blabs the news. Even if your girlfriend has confidence that you weren't cheating, she may not appreciate your silence. On the other hand, if your ex is a touchy subject for your new girl or she's already made it clear that she never wants to hear anything about your past, respect her needs and don't make a big deal out of nothing.
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