How to Not Be Shy if You Told a Girl You Like Her
Putting your heart on your sleeve can be tough -- especially if you feel shy about having told a girl that you like her. Perhaps you haven't spoken since, and you feel awkward about how to broach the topic, or maybe you just have trouble making conversation. Instead of avoiding her, plan for ways to talk about the situation that will help both of you feel more relaxed.
1 Be Curious
If you have told a girl that you like her, you might feel self-conscious being around her -- and worry about what she thinks of you. Feel more confident by focusing less on yourself and more on her, suggests social and personality psychologist Jeremy Nicholson, in the "Psychology Today" article, "How to Reduce Dating Anxiety." Now that she knows you like her, show her that you are interested in getting to know more about her. Be curious about her and any problems that she might be facing. Showing compassion for her will help you to forget about your nervousness.
2 Plan Ahead
People who are "successfully shy" plan ahead to cope with social situations, asserts Indiana University Southeast professor Bernardo Carducci, in the "Psychology Today" article, "Shyness: The New Solution." If you know that you will be seeing the girl you like at school or at a party, rehearse some questions to ask or things to say. If you still feel awkward about telling her you like her, say "I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable. I really just want to get to know you better." Once that is out of the way, try asking her open-ended questions to get her talking, such as "What do you like to do for fun?" or "Tell me about the last book that you read?"
3 Find the Humor
If you still feel shy around her, use a bit of humor to lighten the mood. Say something like, "Things were a lot less awkward between us before I inserted a size 12 foot in my mouth." Show that you don't take yourself too seriously and she will feel relaxed as well, writes communications expert and author of the book, "Small Talk, Big Results," Diane Windingland. Talking about the situation in humorous terms also gives her the chance to let you know how she is feeling -- without any pressure. You never know; she might also be feeling shy about telling you that the feelings are mutual.
4 Be Honest
Relationships develop when two people choose to share things about themselves -- including thoughts and emotions, according to the TeensHealth article "Love and Romance." Start off on the right foot by being honest about how you have been feeling since you confessed your attraction. Hopefully, she will listen, be supportive, and offer her perspective on the situation. If she doesn't feel the same way, perhaps the two of you can be just friends. If she does like you, your honesty will help to move beyond the initial awkwardness of the situation.