How to Keep the Chase Going in a New Relationship

The chase is an exciting part of a new relationship.
... Ciaran Griffin/Stockbyte/Getty Images

New romances are exciting, especially if you like the chase in the beginning stages of the relationship. Although you know that you have an interest in each other, you may be wondering how you can keep your new admirer on his toes. If you’re having too much fun playing hard to get, there are ways to prolong the chase for a little longer.

1 Avoid Initiating

If you want your new love interest to chase you, don’t initiate any conversations, texts or phone calls. Let him plan any dates and let him contact you to schedule them. In the “Cosmopolitan” article “5 Times You Shouldn’t Text Him,” psychologist Diana Kirschner recommends waiting for the other person to make the first moves. Keep this going after the first few dates. Hold back a post-date text or phone call to encourage him to initiate contact.

2 Don't Appear Too Available

Keep busy -- or at least appear to be. This will let her know that you have other priorities in your life (maybe even other people who are romantically interested in you) and she’ll have to work a bit harder to become one of them. Don’t accept if she asks you out on a last-minute date. Accepting same-day date invitations shows that you have more time to dedicate to her, making you more available and less chase-worthy. Request at least a day’s notice for date plans.

3 Maintain Mystery

Part of the excitement of a new flame is getting to learn more about him. To keep the thrill of the chase in the relationship, don’t reveal everything about yourself in the beginning. Keep some personal things to yourself. You don’t want to hold back too much because you may come off as cold or distant. Balance the interest and mystery by being selective about what information to reveal at certain times. For example, you might let him know some of your hobbies and interests in the first couple of dates, while saving subjects like your fears and ambitions for future conversations. This will keep things exciting as you control the pace in which he slowly unravels more about who you are.

4 More Questions

Keeping her guessing about your true feelings may increase her interest in and attraction to you, according to the "Psychology Today" blog “Playing Hard to Get Can Help You Get the Girl” by psychologist Adoree Durayappah. When the object of your affection is uncertain about your feelings for her, she continues to become more interested in finding out whether you like her or not -- which leads to her thinking more about you, according to Durayappah. While you don’t want to let her know exactly how much you like her just yet, don’t be afraid to flirt or hint at an attraction so that you don’t turn her away completely.

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".