How to Become More Than Just Friends With a Boy

The qualities that attracted your friend to you may translate into a romantic chemistry.
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Close to half of teens surveyed by the TeensHealth website said that they are, or have been, in love. If you're one of the many teens or young adults who is having more than friendly feelings for a special guy, understanding how to take your relationship to the next level is key.

1 Ahead of the Game

If you're wondering how to turn your guy friend into more than a friend, you're already off to a good start. The closeness that you feel with a friend is similar to the closeness that you'll need to create in a romantic relationship. Becoming more than friends with a friend may, in some ways, be easier due to your existing close relationship. For example, if you're already sharing secrets or deep details about your life with a guy, making the jump from friend to boyfriend isn't as challenging as starting from scratch.

2 Talk It Out

Don't just assume that your boy who is a friend knows that you want him to step up and fill the role of boyfriend. Use the friendship connection that you already have to communicate your feelings to him. Although it may seem scary at first, talking to your friend is the best way to make him understand that you want more. Ask him what he thinks of taking your relationship down a different path and going from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend.

3 Listen to Him

If you have a truly close relationship with the guy, you'll need to listen to what he says and pick up on the feelings that he reveals to you. Doing this gives you clues to how he really feels about you -- whether it's what you want to hear or not. For example, if he confides his seemingly endless crush on another girl in your grade or your dorm-mate, it isn't as likely that he will want to become your boyfriend. On the other hand, if he tells you how close he feels towards you or how happy it makes him that he can share his secrets with you, it's possible that he wants to make a move to a new type of relationship.

4 Testing the Waters

Although honest communication with your guy friend can help turn him into your boyfriend, it's common to feel worried or anxious about this potentially awkward conversation. If you're not sure how he'll react to your romantic intent, or are scared that you'll ruin your friendship, you can test the waters with a few not so conspicuous questions. For example, if you aren't ready to ask, "I like you as more than a friend, how do you feel about me?" say something along the lines of, "Jenna said that she thinks you and I would make a cute couple, isn't that hilarious?" If he shows interest in the idea of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, move the conversation into a more focused talk in which you outright ask him how he feels about you.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.