The Basics of Dating in the First 90 Days

The first few months of dating include fun-filled getting-to-know-you activities.
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You've got butterflies in your stomach, can't wait to see your new guy and can't seem to wipe that silly grin off of your face. While this can describe your first 90 days of dating, don't forget that relationships run deeper than superficial aspects such as primping and preening to make sure that he thinks you're a beauty 24/7. Understanding the basics can help you to decide where your relationship is going and how quickly it will get there.

1 Euphoria and Exhilaration

The beginning of a relationship -- especially during the first few months -- often seems like an exhilarating thrill, according to clinical psychologist Deborah Khoshaba on the Psychology Today website. Feeling excited about seeing your new guy or girl, like you simply can't wait to get close to them again, is a normal part of the initial stage of dating. For example, instead of spending your entire weekend hanging with buds -- as per usual -- you may feel the giddy anticipation of spending Saturday and Sunday with your new love.

2 Insecurity and Neediness

While insecurity isn't a part of everyone's dating routine, it is common in the beginning. If you're feeling unsure about your guy's intentions or are spending your waking hours thinking about what your new love is doing, neediness is setting in. Continuing on with the relationship -- past the first 90 days -- means getting over any insecurity. If you continue to cling to your guy, it's likely that he won't want to move forward. As you get to know him better, share your feelings and feel more comfortable with his commitment, you should gradually lose the insecurity.

3 Chemical Connection

The first part of a relationship typically revolves around a physical attraction. Before you delve deeper into who your partner is, you're starting off the romance with an electric charge that may have a superficial basis. For example, you may focus on your love's super-shiny hair or how her sea blue eyes glisten. This physical pull felt during the first few months of dating means that you may long to hold your girl's hand, hug her or kiss her as much as possible.

4 Exploring Identities

When you start dating a new partner, you'll need to get to know more than his eye color or how he looks in his cut football uniform. The teen and young adult years often find adolescents and early 20-somethings exploring their identities. During the beginning phase of dating, you can explore your own identity, discovering if your new partner is the type of person who you want to be with and why. If he's not, then the relationship will end after the first few months. On the other hand, if you realize that he's exactly what you're looking for, you will want to carry on with the relationship-building.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

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