While the beginning of your brand new relationship may seem like all sunshine and rainbows, at some point the two of you will find fault with one another. When that happens, the fight that ensues may make you question this new romantic partner or wonder if things will progress into a deeper, long-lasting relationship. Understanding your relationship and knowing how to handle conflict can help you to fend off the first fight woes and get back on track.
The spark of electricity or chemistry that starts a romantic relationship isn't always enough to carry it through into a long-term commitment. If your relationship is based solely on attraction, after the initial physical pull wears off you may find yourself in your first fight. While it's entirely possible that your relationship can progress and eventually turn into something more, a romance built on looks alone can quickly deteriorate. When your guy realizes that the two of you share nothing in common or you realize that your beau's only redeeming quality is his sculpted six-pack, the lack of deep feelings can cause a first fight.
Let's Get Critical
Adding a pinch of criticism to your first fight isn't likely to take your young relationship on to a long-lasting one. When criticism isn't constructive and includes a personal attack on your girl or boyfriend, the results can destroy a relationship that's only in its beginning stages. While it's tempting to lash out during the emotional upheaval that a first fight may trigger, pointing fingers or blaming your partner won't make her want to stick around for more. For example, if the two of you are making plans and you want to take her to a party at your friend's fraternity, but she wants to stay in and watch a movie, criticizing her idea or saying, "That's lame. How boring are you to want to miss the party of the century?" may make her want to end things before they start.
You've texted your guy a dozen times and he still hasn't gotten back to you. Unlike the past few weeks -- in which he's consistently answered you immediately -- today he just doesn't seem to care. Feeling snubbed, your texts get mean or rude until you finally get the response that he's been at a family dinner and had his cell turned off at the request of his mother. Now he's angry or hurt. When you're the root of the problem, mending it is your responsibility. Start with a simple, "I'm sorry." Since this is your first fight, you'll need to remain patient and wait to see how he reacts. Some people will accept an apology and smooth things over immediately, while others may take some time to heal.
If this first fight isn't your fault, your partner will need to apologize to you. If she doesn't bother to say she's sorry or refuses to apologize, you may want to consider how things will go in the future. For example, if she stands you up to go out with her friends on a Friday night -- without so much as a phone call or text -- and doesn't feel an apology is necessary, ask yourself if this is behavior that you can put up with long term. On the other hand, if she makes an honest effort to right her wrong, forgive her and move on into month two of dating.
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