How to Be a Good Flirt Texter

Flirty texts usually include an element of being coy, or even cocky.
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Text messaging is an easy way to connect and be flirtatious with a person you like. A good flirt texter knows how to create a playful situation by text and pique the interest of the other person. A person who knows how to flirt well by text also is aware of text etiquette and doesn't engage in long, drawn-out conversations that are better suited for the phone. Keep things light and fun, and you will succeed in flirting by text.

1 Be Playful

Don't text boring things if you want to flirt. For example, asking "How was your weekend?" doesn't conjure up much playfulness, but saying "How was the weekend ... did you miss me?" sends the message you are being coy, maybe a little cocky. If she makes a joke, such as "Of course I missed you. Who is this again?" or he says "Hmmm ... I'm not sure. Could you send me a picture to remind me what I am missing?" continue the banter by keeping up the playfulness in the conversation. If you are worried your words will be taken the wrong way, consider using emoticons or phrases such as "LOL" to make it clear you aren't being serious.

2 Take Care With Text Speak

Although emoticons and text abbreviations can be useful to soften sarcasm and show the other person when you are joking, using them too often can be a turnoff for some people. Using too many initialisms when you text can also be frustrating for the other person. For example, imagine you receive a text that says "Wuz gr8 2 c u 2nite. LOL Ok gtg :)" versus one that reads "Was great seeing you tonight. Have to get going, but maybe we can chat later." If you aren't sure whether someone likes to use "text language," err on the side of being more formal. You can always alter your texts to match his when you get to know him better.

3 Don't Be Too Eager

While it is good to show you are interested by responding to texts, you also don't want to appear too eager at first. If a girl you like sends you a text, resist the urge to respond right away. Set aside your phone, and then pick it up an hour later. You might even find that you think of something more clever to say than you would have if you had answered right away. Remember also not to flip out if you don't get an immediate response to your text, as discussed in the Emily Post Institute article "Text Messaging." It could be that the other person hasn't even had a chance to read your message yet.

4 Don't Get Too Personal

Be careful when flirt texting not to let things get too personal or private. For example, when that guy asks you to send a picture to remind him why he should miss you, don't. Pictures circulate much too easily by text, and a picture that you think was meant for his eyes only could end up in the hands of his friends -- regardless of how much you trust him. In the same manner, be sure not to disclose overly personal information about yourself, unless you are in an exclusive relationship, as discussed by psychologist Art Bowler in the article "Text Etiquette" from his website. It's better to exercise caution upfront than to be sorry later on.

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.