My Ex-Girlfriend Says She Wants Space: How Often Should I Call or Text Her?

Deciding how long to give an ex between calls and text depends on your current relationship.
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When an ex-girlfriend lets you know that she needs time away from you, it is important to respect her wishes. However, when and if you text or call her depends on the status of your relationship and how your romance ended. If you have a solid friendship, giving her a week may be sufficient, but more adversarial splits can require more patience.

1 Giving Her Space

While being friends with your ex can show maturity, giving her time away from you is important, explains psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith in his “Psychology Today” article, “10 Tips to Help You Deal with Your Ex.” How long to give her depends on your relationship. If she asked for space after a serious argument or a difficult breakup, it might be a good idea to wait for her to contact you, advises professional counselor and dating coach Yangki Christine Akiteng on her website, “Ask the Love Doctor.” Akiteng recommends using the time apart from communication to improve your life instead of waiting for her to call. If you do decide to make the first contact, however, wait until you are able to speak with her calmly and without angry, emotional reactions, says Goldsmith. For some, the time to maintain composure may take several weeks, while for others, it might take months. Ultimately, there is no single time frame that's right. Just choose a time when you feel confident that you can handle the conversation calmly and maturely.

Anna Green has been published in the "Journal of Counselor Education and Supervision" and has been featured regularly in "Counseling News and Notes," Keys Weekly newspapers, "Travel Host Magazine" and "Travel South." After earning degrees in political science and English, she attended law school, then earned her master's of science in mental health counseling. She is the founder of a nonprofit mental health group and personal coaching service.