What Do You Do When Your Friend Avoids Talking to You?

Asking your friend questions through email may get her to open up to you.
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If your friend begins to avoid talking to you, you may feel hurt, lonely and confused. Perhaps you have no idea why she suddenly does not want to speak to you, and desperately want to ask her. You might value your friendship so much that the idea your friendship is over is difficult to accept. There may be reasons for your friend's behavior that you cannot see. With patience and endurance, you will most likely begin to talk to your friend again and restore your relationship.

1 Find the Cause

Finding the reason your friend is avoiding talking to you is essential to understanding her behavior. While you may be fairly certain why she does not wish to speak to you, you may also be completely in the dark. It is difficult to determine a cause when she is not available to answer the questions you have. Approach mutual friends that may have insight into her behavior. They may have had a talk with her and be able to fill you in on why she is avoiding you.

2 Express Concern

Communicating with your friend might not be possible in person, but you can express your concern to her in other ways. Confrontation makes many people uncomfortable, but avoiding dealing with things that will lead to resentment and anger, according to psychiatrist Marcia Sirota. Email your friend or send her a text message asking her what you did to hurt her feelings. Explain that you want to be able to speak to her in person, and that your relationship is valuable.

3 Say You're Sorry

Apologizing to your friend for hurting her, even if you do not know what you did to cause her anger, is an effective way to mend your relationship. You may write her a letter since she does not wish to talk to you in person. Apology and forgiveness are both essential for reconciliation and the resolution of conflict. Healing cannot occur if your friend continues to blame you for something. By saying you are sorry, you may be able to get your friend to open up to you about why she does not wish to speak to you.

4 End the Friendship

If your friend continues to avoid you, you may need to cut ties with her. Ending your friendship is a drastic step to take, and should only happen if you know that your friend has no good reason to avoid you and is attempting to manipulate you with her actions. A friendship that is significantly unbalanced may be a toxic one, according to Andrea Bonior, psychologist and author of "The Friendship Fix." If your friend does not reciprocate, or acknowledge your attempts at reconciliation, it may be time to let her make her own decisions and accept that your friendship is over.

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.