Satisfying a woman’s emotional needs creates feelings of happiness and contentment, but she feels unhappy and frustrated when her needs aren't met, according to Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D., in his book, “His Needs, Her Needs.” Her emotional needs differ from yours, so determine and meet her unique needs, explains Harley. Typical female emotional needs include conversation, affection, honesty and openness, financial security and family commitment.
Communicate With Me
A woman needs to know that her man listens to her, explains Harley. Don’t insist on finding a solution if she presents a concern -- just listen until she asks for help. Focus your attention on her during the conversation, otherwise she'll become angry because you're distracted, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center article, “Understanding the Emotional Needs of Your Female Partner.” Talk about things that interest both of you and let her know more about you.
Your woman needs to know that you care about her, and you need to show it, in addition to saying it, says Harley. Affectionate gestures such as hugs, holding hands, cuddling and flirting are appreciated, but you can also show affection in other ways. For example, a small gift or flower when there is no special occasion demonstrates affection. Speak loving words coupled with a hug when you meet one another or leave. Help with a task on her to-do list. Call or text her to show you are thinking of her. Letting her know how much you desire her inflames her desire and meets her need to feel desirable, as well as demonstrating your affection, advises clinical psychologist Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., on Psychology Today.
Keep It Real
Honesty and openness create a foundation of trust in your relationship. Don’t lie, even in small things, such as whether you liked the food she cooked or what she’s wearing. Be honest about your feelings and thoughts. If she asks where you’re going or who you’re going with, answer honestly. If she can’t trust you, your relationship is on a downhill slide, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center.
Understand and Respect Me
Show that you respect her and that you get what she’s feeling, according to relationship expert John Gray told Nanci Hellmich in a USA Today article. A 2012 study in the "Journal of Family Psychology" notes that women are happier and more satisfied when their partner understands they are angry or unhappy. Respond when you know something’s off kilter, even if you don’t know what it is. Ask her to explain what’s going on by saying, “I know you’re upset. Tell me why.”
Money Matters and Family Connections
Financial security and commitment to family might not play as big part in her emotional needs before marriage and babies as they are when she's a wife and mom, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. Consider her current needs by ensuring she knows before a date if you’re going Dutch and that you respect her need to maintain strong family relationships. After marriage, you need to help provide a stable family income and spend time doing activities with her and any children you may have.
- His Needs, Her Needs; Willard F. Harley, Jr. Ph.D.
- Marriage Builders: The Most Important Emotional Needs
- National Healthy Marriage Resource Center: Understanding the Emotional Needs of Your Female Partner
- Psychology Today: What Do Women Want?
- USA Today: If Emotional Needs Are Met, Calm Prevails
- American Psychological Association: Women Happier in Relationships When Men Feel Their Pain
- Journal of Family Psychology: Eye of the Beholder: The Individual and Dyadic Contributions of Empathic Accuracy and Perceived Empathic Effort to Relationship Satisfaction
- Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images