How to Talk to Your Crush for the First Time at School

Once you've approached your crush, play up the school connections you have.
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Having a crush on someone can be both exhilarating and stressful. On the one hand, you're excited to be so intrigued by someone; but on the other, you may worry if you'll ever get the chance to connect and let her know how you feel. Chatting up your crush for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but once you do it, you'll likely gain confidence -- and possibly the chance to begin a relationship.

1 Be Friendly

Before you strike up a full conversation with your crush, it's helpful to establish a friendly connection, notes Brittany Taylor, an associate online editor at Girls' Life Magazine. Wave or smile at her in the hallway, or start saying things like "Hey" or "What's up?" Establishing a friendly connection first will help you both feel more at ease and comfortable when you first talk to her because you won't be complete strangers.

2 Make the First Move

Once you're regularly exchanging hellos with your crush, it's time to gear up for your first real conversation, Taylor says. Ask her if she'd like to grab a latte after school, or if she'd be interested in studying together for finals. Or you can keep it more general -- if the weekend or a school vacation is coming up, ask her what she's going to be up to. Another option is to ask her to do something with a group of your friends -- maybe going out for pizza or to a game -- if talking one-to-one is too intimidating right now.

3 Have Confidence

As nervous as you might feel during those first exchanges with your crush, try and seem as confident as you can, suggests an article on the website Gurl. If your face is bright red, you're tongue-tied or you're talking extremely fast, it might distract your crush from what you're trying to say. For a better conversation, stand up straight, smile and make eye contact, all of which will make you seem more approachable and friendly. It can help to pretend you are talking to someone you're already comfortable with, to distract you from the fact that you're talking to the person you're romantically interested in.

4 Emphasize Things In Common

One of the great things about going to school with your crush is that you already likely have a whole host of things in common, and therefore several natural conversational jumping-off points, notes an article on the Gurl website. If you share a class, ask her to clarify a specific homework assignment or upcoming project. Even if you don't really need it, ask to borrow a pencil or pen. Pay attention to particular details, such as a book she's carrying around, or a band's T-shirt she often wears. That way you can use these things as a bridge to conversation, and say things like, "Have you ever seen that band live?" or "Oh, I love that book, too! What chapter are you on?"

5 Dealing with Rejection

Sometimes, you may find your crush feels the same way about you, which can be thrilling. But in other cases, the other person may not return your affection, or may not even seem interested in getting to know you. As painful as this may be, try not to take it personally. Your crush may be focused on school and not interested in dating, or may already like someone else. The good news is that even though feelings of rejection and heartbreak can feel quite strong and overwhelming at first, they usually fade with time, notes KidsHealth.

Jaime Budzienski has contributed essays and articles to the "Boston Globe Sunday Magazine," "Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine" and the "Boston Parents Paper." She holds a B.F.A. in writing, literature and publishing from Emerson College and a master's degree in education from UMASS Boston.