What Are Signs That a Relationship Isn't Going Anywhere?

A relationship with staying power should have more good times than bad.
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When your relationship first started, you couldn’t wait to spend time together and get to know more about each other. Now though, you find yourself feeling the butterflies less and less, wondering if this was really as good a match as you once believed. It can be difficult to know when a relationship has reached its expiration date, but there are a few signs that can always help you decide.

1 Too Much Conflict

If you find yourself fighting all the time with your boyfriend, it might be time to admit that the relationship is over. Arguments are normal, and all relationships involve some level of conflict at times. However, when you are fighting more than you are laughing or enjoying each other’s company, it is time to re-evaluate how much you really want to be in this relationship. Some people simply aren’t compatible. If you can’t get through the day without bickering, it is probably best for the two of you to move on. Life is too short to waste so much time fighting when you could be looking for someone you truly get along with instead.

2 Communication Is Lost

A healthy relationship takes good communication. You and the object of your affection should be regularly talking, not just about the various aspects of your relationship but also about the other important aspects of your lives. If you can’t have a conversation with each other without growing bored, this probably isn’t a relationship that is going anywhere. Consider the last time the two of you really talked, and see if you can remember some of the key things your partner said to you. If you can’t dig those details out of your memory and if you would guess the same is true for your significant other, you might both be better off finding someone else you actually can communicate with.

3 Feelings Have Faded

If you realize that you haven’t been spending as much time together as a couple lately -- and you aren’t even really sad about it -- it might be time to move on. Those initial feelings of attraction can often be incredibly consuming, but it is as the first sparks fade that you find out if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance. If the original chemistry you felt is dissipating and you no longer feel a strong desire to spend time with your partner, the relationship probably doesn’t have the kind of staying power you would like. Feelings simply fade sometimes without it necessarily being anyone’s fault, but recognizing that now can keep you from staying in a relationship longer than you otherwise should.

4 Listen to Your Gut

Your inner voice is typically cluing you into the reality of your situation, according to life coach Megan Raphael in her eHarmony.com article "Courage to Know When a Relationship Is Not Right for You." If you are asking yourself now whether your relationship is going anywhere, you probably already know that it isn’t. Listen to those gut instincts, and don’t linger in a relationship you know isn’t the one. It isn’t fair to you or to your partner to drag things out when there really isn’t much of a future there. Should you decide that this isn’t a relationship you want to be in any longer, end things as kindly as possible and allow yourself to move forward.

Living in Alaska, Leah Campbell has traveled the world and written extensively on topics relating to infertility, dating, adoption and parenting. She recently released her first book, and holds a psychology degree (with an emphasis in child development and abnormal child psychology) from San Diego State University.