While breaking up is hard to do, getting over the loss and starting over can seem even more difficult. Even if you've made it through breakup misery, you might not be ready to dive back into the dating game just yet. And even when you are, it's probably been a while since you were on the singles scene. It might take a little getting used to again.
Evaluate your previous relationship. If your ex broke up with you, analyze the rejection. Was there a turning point where the relationship started going downhill, or did the relationship not feel right from the beginning? If you can analyze your behavior and actions from an objective perspective, you can look to see if you were a clingy partner or too aloof or if the breakup was entirely a result of incompatibility. Learning from your last relationship can help you in the future.
Work through any grief you feel from your last relationship to make sure you're ready to start something new. If you're still fluctuating between anger, sadness and shock, it's too soon for a new boyfriend. Allow yourself some time to work through the grieving process so you don’t find yourself unhappy in a new relationship or constantly comparing your new boyfriend to your previous one.
Stay in contact with the other important people in your life. After a breakup, you might experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of contact and communication you once shared with your ex. Avoid rushing into another relationship to fill that void. Instead, stay in touch with friends and family, and visit them as much as possible to fill your life back up with human contact.
Take care of yourself first. Focus on your happiness, self-esteem and self-improvement. Before committing to a new relationship, find ways you can improve you, for you. Focus on the things you've always wanted to do, or start doing the things you sacrificed during your previous relationship. These activities will help to get you reacquainted with yourself -- an important person to know before heading into another relationship. If you’ve always wanted to get over your fear of heights, tackle public speaking or learn a new language, take on these new challenges to reaffirm your independence and self-confidence. The goal is to develop a better relationship with yourself. You then will have more to offer in a new relationship.
Go out often when you’re ready to ease into the singles scene. Once you've recovered from your previous relationship, you'll have to get out and start meeting people to find a new boyfriend. That doesn't mean you need to rush out and find him today. Join a singles group, go out on Saturday night with friends, or enroll in classes where you'll meet others who share common interests.
Get excited about dating. Go get a haircut or buy a new outfit for a little self-confidence boost. Spend some time with people who love you for who you are to bolster your self-esteem. Think about the interesting people you’ll meet, the engaging conversations you’ll have and the new experiences you’ll share with others -- anything that helps to build up enthusiasm for getting out there and trying again.
Start dating casually. Enjoy spending time with someone new, but don't expect him to be "the one." You can go on dates without committing to an exclusive relationship, giving you an opportunity to get to know people and to get an idea of what you do and don't like in a relationship. Think of first dates as just a few hours of your time, not necessarily life-changing events. This way, there is no disappointment if Mr. Right Now doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Keep trying until you find that guy you enjoy spending time with and would like to know better. That’s boyfriend material.
- Skip the tummy-controlling, rear-end-shaping and body-cinching devices when you’re going out with friends or on dates. Flaunt your most desirable asset -- your confidence.
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