As people get older, they learn that time really does heal all wounds. However, that first real breakup often feels devastating and impossible to get over initially. Moving on from a long-term relationship is no easy feat. Just remember that most people do, eventually, recover from heartbreak. While it may seem unbearable in the beginning, there are ways you can get through the process.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is wasting time trying to figure out what your ex is thinking, according to Gerry Heisler, a clinical psychologist, in the "Psychology Today" article “What to Do When You’re Dumped.” Stop mulling over the details and get out of your ex’s head. You will never be able to figure out the precise motivations behind your old flame’s actions because you aren’t working with the same set of information and feelings. Don’t make the mistake of trying to put all the pieces of your breakup together when you should be focused on the future instead.
A daily workout of just 15 minutes a day will get your endorphin levels up and increase your natural feelings of calm, explains psychotherapist Bob Livingstone in the "She Knows" article “Overcoming Abandonment” Not only will getting in shape help you to feel better about yourself, but those endorphins can help you feel better about the breakup as well. Commit to staying active by making aerobic activity a part of your daily schedule.
Making plans with friends and family and keeping up an active social calendar will help to distract you from the feelings of grief you are experiencing after the breakup, advises Nathan Feiles, a New York City counselor, in the "Psych Central" article “How to Get Over a Breakup.” Surround yourself with people who care about you and accept invitations, even when your impulse is to stay home and curl up alone on the couch. Now is the time to keep yourself busy, allowing yourself to avoid rehashing the details of the breakup in your mind again and again.
Talk to a Professional
If you feel as though your breakup is impacting your emotional well-being, consider seeking the help of a professional to work through your emotions in a healthy way, suggests Feiles. There is no shame in needing a little help moving on, and the right therapist can provide you with the tools you need to adjust to this new reality. Consider visiting your school’s counseling office to see what services might be available, and talk to your general health care practitioner if you need references as well.
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