Everyone wants to feel appreciated by those who matter the most. Speaking words of appreciation, affirmation and encouragement toward your girlfriend can inspire her to value you more and institute a healthy exchange of loving support in your relationship. Your relationship will grow more loving through the fluid exchange of appreciative actions and words.
Ask for Appreciation
Ask for what you want or need in a relationship, suggests marriage counselor Elliott E. Connie in the Your Tango article “5 Ways To Ask For What You Want In A Relationship.” Let your girlfriend know that you need more appreciation because you feel neglected. Talk about ways that she can express appreciation that you will recognize. You might be surprised to find that she shows you appreciation sometimes and you don’t catch it. She might fix your favorite meal or show up to cheer you on at the game as a way to show much she values you. Let her know when she’s doing it right.
If you aren’t getting enough appreciation, check the mirror and see if you’re showing her enough. Appreciation is a two-way street, writes leadership and relationships coach Monique Honaman in “If Not Shown Appreciation, It Gets to You” for Huffington Post. Find ways every day to let her know how much you appreciate what she does or why she’s the best. Give her a hug and tell her it’s because you don’t thank her enough. Thank her when she helps you understand a concept in your weakest school subject, wash your car or find a gift for your mom.
Appreciate the contributions you make to your relationship and what you get back, advises psychologist Leon F. Seltzer in "Why People Don't Acknowledge You" for Psychology Today. If you take pride in your efforts, she might notice more because you’re happier and more upbeat about what you do. Brag a little on the job you’ve done or ask her how she likes the way you did something. Either way, you’ve given her an open opportunity to show you appreciation.
Go On Strike
If your girlfriend rarely appreciates what you do, stop doing so much, suggests communications coach Preston Ni in the Psychology Today article “Are You Too Nice? 7 Ways to Gain Appreciation and Respect.” Your girlfriend may quickly notice when you do less for her and ask you what’s up. Explain that you don’t want to do things that she doesn’t need or want. If she protests that she does indeed need and want your help and support, let her know that she can best encourage it by expressing appreciation and gratitude.
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