What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Stops Calling or Texting?

You’re dating a great guy and you two are officially in a relationship. Then one day, your boyfriend stops calling and texting. Whether this occurred gradually or all at once, it can be a puzzling time as you try to figure out what happened. You might feel rejected or ignored, but there can be more than one meaning when your boyfriend stops keeping in touch.

Talking on the phone all night and texting all day means that you’re always around, which could make your boyfriend feel overwhelmed. He might think that not calling and texting gives him the space he needs to have a moment or two when he’s not with you. It can be hard to miss someone when you talk all the time, and if you’re constantly in contact he might find that you two have little to discuss when you’re together. According to Rachel Greenwald in the book "Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date," if you push him to talk to you, you’ll never know if he’s responding because he wants to chat or if he’s simply responding out of obligation. You can show him that you respect his need for space by only responding to texts or calls that he initiates.

If your boyfriend has stopped calling or texting after a fight or rough time in your relationship, he may just need time. Guys and girls communicate differently, and although you might want to have a discussion about the disagreement, he may just need time to stop being angry. Silence can seem like the best course of action when guys can’t figure out the specific thing that made them angry, according to Dr. Shawn T. Smith, author of “Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It.” You can show him that you respect his need for time by being patient and not rushing him to resume texting and calling you.

His lack of texting and calling could have nothing to do with your relationship. Your boyfriend might be going through a rough time in school, having family issues or stressed at work. If he’s dealing with stressors in his daily life, he could avoid texting and calling because he thinks you’ll want to discuss what’s bothering him. You might find this lack of communication frustrating, but it’s important to consider that he might want to keep you separate from the things that are upsetting him. According to Dr. Gail Gross, author of “How Men Handle Stress Differently,” men look for ways to escape when they’re stressed, which includes finding diversions instead of discussing emotions. You can show him that you respect his need to escape things for a bit by being supportive and helping him manage his stress.

Your boyfriend may want to break up and has stopped calling or texting to make the break easier. If he’s interested in someone else, he might be spending his free time calling that person at night. Amy Sohn, author of the "New York" magazine article "The Man Vanishes," notes that he might feel that not calling keeps things from blowing up or because it's easier than being the bad guy in the situation. If you think your boyfriend hasn’t called because he wants to end things, express this to him. You can't change his mind once it’s made up, but at least you’ll give him the opportunity to explain the meaning behind his disappearing act.