Showing up at her after-school job with a heart-shaped box of candy in hand, sending flowers on a Wednesday and surprising her with a homemade candlelit dinner. What do all of these have in common? They're all random romantic gestures. While sweeping your girl off her feet with an unexpected act of caring might seem like the best idea ever, you need to consider how she'll react before you go ahead with your plan.
Pay It Back
While a romantic gesture that's 100 percent selfless is welcome, some women may feel like they owe you a debt of gratitude in exchange. She may feel like she owes you an equally romantic gesture as repayment for your thoughtfulness, according to social psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson's article "No Thanks" on the "Psychology Today" website. For example, if you show up on a date with a "surprise" gift -- such as a piece of jewelry or a book that she wants -- she may feel obligated to get you a gift next time. This can lead to her feeling guilt or resentment over a gift that she never asked for. The resulting pressure that she may feel to repay the gesture may turn what was a sweet surprise into something much more negative.
While some women may feel a sense of indebtedness, others may feel gratitude for random romantic gestures. Whether you give her a gift, bake her a cake or whisk her away on a surprise camping trip, the gracious girl enjoys the gesture and may not think about needing to repay it. This doesn't mean that she won't eventually do something equally as spontaneous or romantic for you. Instead, she simply stays in the moment, taking in your act of kindness.
Assess the Situation
Even if your girl is a fan of the random romantic gesture, not every place or time is fitting for such spontaneous behavior. While pulling out a dozen roses at her doorstep is appropriate -- and typically welcome -- showering her with flowers in the middle of her workday may not be. Before you set out to spread romance across your girlfriend's day, consider where you are and who else is around. For example, reading a poem that you wrote for her in front of her entire group of girlfriends might embarrass her. Put yourself in your girl's shoes or try to predict how she'll feel in the situation before initiating the romantic gesture.
When a man attempts an outrageously romantic gesture, women -- and society in general -- often see it as charming, according to the article "Romantic Gestures: Is There a Double Standard?" on the "Psych Central" website. An over-the-top gesture, such as showing up at her doorstep with a bevy of balloons and enough roses to fill her room, may make her feel like she just stepped into a romance novel or rom-com movie. That said, if the girl's not into you, an extreme gesture may come off as needy or clingy.
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