What Do You Do When Your Ex Thinks That You Want Him Back but You Don't?
You might not want your ex back, but somehow he thinks you do. Interpreting feelings and intentions can be tricky, especially when it comes to dating and breakups. It is important to be open about what you want and do not want from him now that you are broken up.
1 Communicate Clearly
Sometimes all you have to do is say it out loud. Tell your ex that you have no intention of rekindling your romance. Whatever the reason for the breakup, let him know that you are ready to move on. Make eye contact when speaking so that he knows you are serious. Be firm and assertive but gentle with your tone, and choose your words carefully. He will be grateful that you were honest about your intentions, John Seeley, author and public speaker with a master’s degree in psychology, tells Match.com.
2 Stop Sending Mixed Signals
Your words may be saying you do not want to get back together, but your actions could be telling him something else. Examine your behaviors to see if you could be giving him mixed signals. Are you flirting with him? Talking and texting every day like you were when you were together can confuse him into thinking the status of your relationship hasn’t really changed. The best way to avoid giving him the impression that you want him back is to stop treating him like you did when he was your boyfriend.
3 Show You've Moved On
You might not be completely over your ex, but by showing him that you are moving on, you are telling him that you are ready to leave the past relationship behind. If you are ready to date other people, let him know that you are back in the dating game and encourage him to do the same. But don’t just do it for show -- do it for yourself. Moving on does not always have to mean dating other people. It could also be doing the things that you never got to do while you were in the relationship, such as catching up with old friends or spending more time learning new hobbies. Show him you are moving forward with your life and not publicly mourning the relationship.
4 Cut Off Contact
If he is still not getting the hint, you may have to cut off all contact with him. Although you might want to stay friends, this can be a bad idea, Janice Lieberman, psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, tells WebMD. A platonic friendship cannot work between exes if one or both people still want to get back together, asserts Lieberman. This is why ending communication with your ex could be crucial -- it sends a firm message that you want nothing to do with him, at least for now.