The Reasons the Ex-Girlfriend Needs Space

If your ex needs space, respect her wishes.
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After a breakup, breaking off all contact can be difficult. Although it is a challenge, it is important to respect your ex-girlfriend’s wishes for some space. There could be a number of reasons why she is asking you to keep your distance post-breakup. It may be good for both of you, whether she intends for the time apart to be only temporary or permanent, as you adjust to the loss of the relationship.

1 Wants to Get Over You

Even though you might want to be friends with your ex, it can be hard being around someone that you used to have a romantic relationship with. Your ex might want to sever ties with you so that she can let her feelings for you go. It might hurt her to be in contact with you, knowing that she cannot be your girlfriend. She might also need this time away from you to remind herself that she is single, because being in constant contact with an ex can often confuse people into thinking that nothing has changed. After a breakup, emotions are still raw and your ex may choose to avoid you in order to cool down these emotions and make it easier for her to move on properly.

2 Wants to Avoid Conflict

If the breakup was bad and involved many arguments and unresolved conflict, she may want to avoid communication to steer clear of any post-breakup fights. Your ex-girlfriend might fear that one or both of you will bring up old arguments that will only result in more heartbreak. Even though the relationship is over, it can be tempting to revisit what went wrong or why it did not work out. In “Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You,” grief counselor Susan J. Elliott warns readers that getting in contact with your ex for “closure” can just be an excuse to convince the ex that she was in the wrong. Your ex-girlfriend may want to avoid any hurt that can come from meeting up or speaking when there are unresolved issues.

3 Dating Someone Else

Whether you like it or not, your ex-girlfriend may be trying to move on and date other people. She may worry that being in constant contact with you could hinder moving on with her dating life. If she is seeing someone else, she might worry about sending you mixed signals and giving you false hope about getting back together. She might also be afraid that being friends with you will upset her new date or make him feel uncomfortable.

4 Wants to Get Back Together

It may seem like a weird idea, but some people believe that imposing a no-contact rule will make their ex want to rekindle the relationship. There is a possibility that your ex-girlfriend is telling you not to contact her because she is hoping that by not speaking to you at all, you will realize how much you miss her and want her back. Therapist and relationship coach Yangki Christine Akiteng advises against doing this, but your ex may believe this tactic can work.

Sarah Casimong is a Vancouver-based writer with a Bachelor's degree in journalism from Kwantlen Polytechnic University. She writes articles on relationships, entertainment and health. Her work can be found in the "Vancouver Observer", "Her Campus" and "Cave Magazine".