If your boyfriend talks to other females on the phone, this is not necessarily a sign that there is something going on. Without jumping to conclusions, try to figure out what part of the situation is making you uncomfortable. Work with your boyfriend to find a compromise. He should be free to talk with other girls in the same way that you are free to talk with other boys.
Reflect on Your Feelings
Take some time to think about why you are bothered by his conversations with other girls. Consider whether he has given you any good reasons not to trust him. It is actually quite normal if you are feeling jealous for it to seem like he talks to these other girls more than he talks to you. You may be fearful that he will become romantically interested in one of these girls. This may be especially true if he lowers his voice to a whisper when one of the females calls or he walks away from you to take a call. While you may trust him, you’re not so sure about the girls' intentions.
Be honest and tell your boyfriend that these calls are making you uncomfortable. Explain the reasons behind your feelings. Tell him if you are feeling shut out or ignored as a result of the calls. You may feel as if these calls are interfering with the time you two spend together, especially if he is texting back and forth while you are out on dates or having some quiet time together. Allow him to share his side of the story. He may have no intention of pursuing any of the females. You may discover that he did not even realize how much time he had been spending on the phone talking to other people.
Redefine Your Boundaries
If your boyfriend truly cares about you, he will be understanding, according to "Why Trust Matters" on the "Two of Us" website. He will be willing to work on a compromise with you so that you don't continue to feel so uncomfortable about the calls. Discuss ways in which you two can redefine the boundaries in the relationship. Establish some ground rules. For example, you two could decide that when you are out on a date, cellphones are placed on vibrate and only emergency calls, such as calls from your parents, will get a response.
Examine Your Insecurities
Being in a relationship with someone does not mean that you are automatically cut off from interacting with members of the opposite sex. Both you and your boyfriend should be free to talk and hang out with whomever you choose, as long as it does not overtake time that you had set aside to spend together. Consider that you may be allowing yourself to be worried and feel insecure when there is no real reason to be. You and your guy should both be able to balance school, family and friends in addition to maintaining the bond you have as a couple.
- Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images