What if Your Boyfriend Wants to Date Others?

Choose your boundaries when it comes to your boyfriend dating others.
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When your boyfriend wants to date others, it is time to take a serious look at your relationship. The desire to date around usually means he has found someone else, he is not ready to commit or he thinks dating other people will help him decide if you are the one. Knowing what you want out of the relationship and keeping control of the situation so it is not all about him can help.

1 Let’s Get Serious

Being in a committed relationship means you are committed to each other and no one else. Your boyfriend may not understand how serious you are about the relationship. If he tells you he wants to date other people, let him know you do not feel the same way. According to certified relationship coach Kikki Strickland, writing for the YourTango website, your boyfriend may be having a hard time deciding if you or someone else is "the one," and having the conversation about being exclusive may catch him off guard. You must decide if continuing to date him even though he is not ready to be exclusive is what you really want. If you continue to date in spite of him seeing other people, revisit the topic again in a few months. If by then he still hesitates at being exclusive, it is time to let him go.

2 Get His Meaning

Understanding what your boyfriend means when he says he wants to see other people helps you make the right decision for you. You need to know if there is one other special person getting in the way of your relationship, or if he truly means he wants to date others while dating you. Rich Santos, in the online article, “What He Means When He Wants a Break,” for "Marie Claire" magazine, suggests his desire to see other people may mean he wants to see if there is anyone out there better than you. You are the one who has to decide if that is OK with you.

3 It Goes Both Ways

If your boyfriend is interested in seeing other people while he is dating you, make sure he understands that means you are free to do the same. Dating is about getting to know different people until one person stands out as the right one, asserts Rori Raye, author of the best-selling eBook "Have the Relationship You Want," in the eHarmony article, "The Biggest Mistake Women Make in Dating, and What to Do Instead." If you both keep dating other people, it gives you a chance to take things slowly and reflect on the kind of person your boyfriend is and whether or not you want him in your life.

4 Time to Say Goodbye

When your boyfriend says he wants to see other people, he could be trying to break up with you without actually saying the words. Some guys are too afraid to break up in one shot, writes Santos, and he may just hope you get the hint when he does not call or see you for a few weeks while he is seeing other people. Ask him to be completely honest so you have a chance to take control of the situation, rather than be left wondering where you stand.

Patti Richards has been a writer since 1990. She writes children’s books and articles on parenting, women's health and education. Her credits include San Diego Family Magazine, Metro Parent Magazine, Boys' Quest Magazine and many others. Richards has a Bachelor of Science in English/secondary education from Welch College.