Should I Call Him When He Is Mad at Me?

If you call him too soon, he may hang up on you.
... BananaStock/BananaStock/Getty Images

He's fuming, you're at fault and the only thing that you can think of is apologizing to him. Should you pick up your cell and call him? Take several factors into consideration before reaching out. Before you dial his number, think about why he's angry, what you did to contribute to the situation and how he reacts to intense emotions.

1 Make Amends

While it's likely that you didn't intentionally make your guy mad, he isn't looking at you like you're completely innocent. Even though everyone messes up or accidentally angers someone else at one time or another, your guy might not have the ability to move on without a sound apology. Calling him to apologize, especially if you haven't tried to do so in person already, is completely acceptable. This doesn't mean that you have to call him with a lengthy monologue that rehashes each and every thing that you did wrong, or that you should beg for his forgiveness. Instead, keep it short and sweet, focusing on making amends. For example, try something such as, "I'm sorry I yelled at you in front of your friends. It was wrong of me and won't happen again."

2 Already Apologized

After making him mad, you apologized before he could stomp away. Even though you might want him to accept your apology immediately, sometimes it takes time to truly forgive and forget hurt feelings, notes the article "Apologizing" on the TeensHealth website. If you have already made an in-person attempt to apologize and he hasn't yet responded to your efforts, don't call him just yet. Give your guy the time that he needs to process his feelings and accept your apology.

3 You Aren't Ready

Even though he's mad at you, in your mind you didn't really do anything wrong. For example, there was a miscommunication and he thought that you would go with him to the football game, but you thought that you were just going to meet him there. After waiting for an hour for you to show up at his house, he went to the game alone, found you and gave you a piece of his mind. Now, you're angry too. If you don't feel like you're necessarily at fault or you are mad too, wait to call him until you are feeling calm. When you do call him, explain that you just weren't ready to talk to him yet.

4 His Reactions

Not everyone reacts the same way to anger. While some guys may get over negative feelings fairly quickly, others -- who are more emotionally sensitive -- may take much more time to calm down. If your boyfriend is one of the quicker ones, go ahead and call him. Chances are that even though he's still somewhat mad, he's also ready to talk to you again. On the other hand, if your beau holds grudges or is super-sensitive, give him his space. Calling him right away may only intensify his feelings and make matters worse.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.