Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Build Emotional Intimacy

Getting to know your guy's likes and dislikes can build a sense of emotional closeness.
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The moment you saw him you felt that electric shock of attraction. After he asked you out and the two of you begun dating, you fell into what you consider a real relationship. Making the decision to move beyond an initial attraction and into a true partnership means creating a sense of closeness. Asking questions that can build emotional intimacy can take your relationship to a deeper, more caring, level.

1 Dream a Little Dream

What are your dreams? Asking your boyfriend this question doesn't mean that you want him to hear about what went though his head as he slept. Instead the answer should focus on his ultimate goals. Intimately asking your boyfriend to talk about what he aspires to, is one way for him to reveal his feelings, according to the article "Love and Romance" on the TeensHealth website. Have him get specific, and talk about what he truly wants out of life. For example, ask him what he sees himself doing in five years or what he wants to use his bio major for in the long run.

2 Proof of Pride

While you aren't looking to start a brag-fest, you can build emotional intimacy by asking your guy what his proudest moments are. Start by asking a general question, allowing him the opportunity to think of a few life changers. You can delve deeper and get more specific later on. Ask him thematic or topical questions, such as, "What is your proudest educational moment?" or "When did you feel the most pride in your work life?"

3 Failures and Mistakes

Even though your guy may want to present a perfect picture of himself, thinking of him as super-human won't get the two of you closer. Sharing the failures and mistakes that are part of being human provides couples with a deeper emotional connection, according to relationship counselors Linda and Charlie Bloom on the Psychology Today website. Approach this touchy subject with caring, and start by offering up a few life mistakes that you've made. Ask your boyfriend about mistakes that have helped to shape who he is and ones failures that have stung him on a deep level.

4 Facing Fears

Feeling fearful may seem far from masculine for many men, but asking your boyfriend about this emotion can help bring the two of you together. Revealing his greatest fears provides a way for your guy to share his true feelings and let you get to know the real him. Ask your guy specific questions about his fears, such as, "What is your greatest fear when it comes to your career?" or "When you imagine having a family in the future, what do you fear most?"

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.