How to Get Your Mom to Let You Go Places

Have an open, honest conversation with your mom about going out with friends.
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While you might think that you're mature beyond your years, living with mom means that she has the final say in what you do and where you go. If you want to go out with your friends, but your mother says "no," you can consider taking steps to change her mind.

1 Set a Goal

Before you bust out with, "But, mom everyone else is going," set a realistic goal for the conversation. While the over-riding goal is for your mom to let you go places, make your discussion objectives more specific and more manageable. Create a list of goals that gradually build up to the main idea of going out with your friends. For example, the first goal is for mom to understand that you feel like she doesn't trust you and the second goal is for her to really hear you when you explain that you're responsible.

2 Listen Up

Discussing whether mom will or won't allow you to go places isn't a one-way conversation. Expecting mom to listen to you without giving her the same courtesy back isn't likely to get you the results that you want. While you might want her to listen without talking, she's going to have plenty to say on the subject. Listen to what your mother is telling you before you start whining that she isn't fair. Instead of arguing, make counterpoints in a calm tone that specifically focus on what she says to you. For example, if she says that she doesn't want you going to the post-homecoming party, tell her that the host's parents will be there chaperoning.

3 Whine Down

When you speak to your mother in a respectful tone, she's more likely to listen to you than if you whine, according to the article "Talking to Your Parents -- or Other Adults" on the TeensHealth website. Stop yourself from complaining that mom's rules are unfair or blaming her for your lack of social status. Put yourself in control over your emotions, and calm your whining or complaining behaviors. A mature approach shows mom that you're ready for more responsibility, possibly leading her to believe that you can handle going out with your friends.

4 Just the Facts, Mom

Asking mom to let you go out without providing any details is a surefire way to get a swift "no." Take the opposite approach and offer up all of the facts that you can about your social situation. For example, if you want to go to a local band's concert with your friends, tell your mom what the venue is, where it is, what times the show starts and ends, who you are going with, how you will get there and home and how much it costs. It's likely that your mom just wants to protect you. Giving her the details helps her to feel safer about where you are.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.