In relationships, someone is bound to annoy the other person at one point or another. Whether you know you’re triggering his irritation or you are oblivious as to how you got to this point, you must try to repair things. Looking for signs that you are bugging your boyfriend can help you know when you’ve ventured from adorable to annoying.
He Avoids You
Although avoidance isn’t the sole indicator that your boyfriend is annoyed, it can be a sign. Guys can clam up when they are upset and not ready to discuss what is bothering them, writes Shawn Smith, a psychologist, in the article “Five Reasons Men Go Silent, and What to Do About It,” on Psychology Today's website. Your boyfriend may avoid you after a conversation or instance in which something went wrong. He may need the space to get over his annoyance or to find the words to explain what troubled him. Give him the space he needs.
He Becomes Distant
Perhaps you repeatedly pointed out something he did wrong and now he has become distant. You can be in the same room and feel like you are on different planets. If this isn’t a normal occurrence, he may need time to focus on something else until he’s no longer irritated. If this is something that happens week after week, he may be emotionally distancing himself to avoid a huge blow-up. In either instance, be patient.
He Tells Friends
You had a conversation with your boyfriend and the next day all of his friends are telling you he’s annoyed. It can be frustrating to hear that your boyfriend is upset from secondhand sources, but his friends know him. Thinking in advance about how people feel can help guide how you interact with them, according to the TeensHealth article, "Understanding Other People." Instead of immediately confronting him, first consider why he went to them. Maybe he needed to vent or wanted advice.
You Know It
Perhaps he hasn’t made any huge changes, yet you have the feeling you’re bugging him. Most people nag because they care, writes Lisa Belkin in the Oprah.com article “Stop Nagging.” You care about his grades, so you ask him to focus when you are in class together. Worrying about bugging him could lead to bothering him when there isn’t an issue. Instead, talk to him to make sure he’s not annoyed before assuming how he feels.
- Digital Vision/Digital Vision/Getty Images