Relationships are complicated enough without factoring in the variable of long distance. When your boyfriend isn’t a familiar face in your school, city or time zone, it’s difficult to nurture your relationship, and it’s even tougher to know when feelings change. If you suspect that your long-distance sweetheart no longer loves you, his behavior may confirm your hunch. Know what to look for when you want to validate that your boyfriend is experiencing a change of heart across the miles.
He Falls Off the Radar
One of the keys for keeping a long-distance relationship healthy is for partners to provide information about what’s occurring in their daily environments, advises psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne on "Psychology Today" online. Virtual communication doesn't provide the same rewards as physical closeness but permits long-distance partners to feel connected. The updates provide a visual representation of the people and places that share your day. If your boyfriend seems strangely silent regarding his day-to-day activities, this may be a red flag that his feelings for you have changed.
He Doesn't Have Your Back
The bad days inherent to most relationships can buffet and bruise partners in a long-distance relationship. For example, when partners argue, it's tougher to resolve the issue when distance separates you. Similarly, if you or your boyfriend face a hardship such as an illness or a family crisis, it can be challenging to share your support across the miles. Both partners must understand that distance places an additional challenge on the relationship during hardship, and both partners must remain consistently committed for the relationship to survive. If your boyfriend no longer makes the effort to call, text and reconnect when either of you experience a difficult time, his lack of communication may signal a lack of affection for you.
The Glasses Come Off
Successful long-distance partners may demonstrate a romanticized perspective about their relationship, and tend to place their partners atop a pedestal, reports Whitbourne. Overemphasizing a partner’s positive traits may help long-distance partners to cope with some of the discontent rooted in physical separation. However, unjustified criticism and disapproval from your boyfriend indicate a shift in his perspective. If your boyfriend misplaces his rose-tinted glasses, this may signal a problem.
His Trustworthiness Goes up in Smoke
Honesty and reliability are signs of a healthy relationship and are crucial for the survival of a long-term relationship. You want to know that you can depend on your boyfriend to follow through with what he says and trust him without reservation, says psychologist Randi Gunther on "Psychology Today" online. For example, if your boyfriend explains that a team practice time prevents him from taking your calls, but he answers his phone when you use a friend's phone to place a call, his behavior contradicts his explanation. If your boyfriend’s behavior doesn’t support his communication, or if his behavior doesn’t promote an atmosphere of trust, problems exist in your relationship.
- Psychology Today: Love From Afar: Staying Close While You Live Apart
- PsychCentral: The Challenge of Long-Distance Relationships
- Psychology Today: Who Are the "Keepers?" The Behaviors of Successful Long-Term Partners
- Family and Marriage Counseling Directory: Ten Characteristics of Successful Relationships
- Ableimages/Photodisc/Getty Images