How to Write a Letter to a Biological Father

Sometimes, people who are adopted never gain an interest in seeking their biological parents. The same can be said for people who are raised only by their mother or another family member, who have never met their biological father. However, if you do not fall into this category and know who your biological father is, you may be interested in reaching out to him. One way to do so is by writing a non-threatening letter.

Start the letter by explaining to your biological father who you are. Because this can be daunting and frightening for a father who has never had contact with you, explain that you understand if he does not wish to see you just yet and that you just have some things you’d like to tell him.

Consider very carefully what you would like to say in the letter. The first letter is probably not the best time to vent lots of resentment, anger or frustration toward your biological father. However, this does not mean that you cannot be honest about your feelings.

Get out what you need to say. The main body of the letter can be explaining your feelings to your father. Again, don’t go on about negative emotions or how your biological father’s absence has impacted your life. Instead, choose a few key moments when you wish he could have been there to share the memories with you.

Say something positive. Once you get out the serious and conflicting emotions about your biological father and his absence, say something nice. Talk about how you would feel if he would agree to meet with you, for example. If anyone in your life has ever told you something good about your biological father, this would be the time to include it.

Close the letter by telling your biological father how he can contact you if that’s what he wishes to do. Remind him that you are not looking to make up for years of a lost bond, but would just like to get to know the man who gave you life a little better.