Friendships are rewarding, but take time, energy and effort. It can be easy to lose touch with friends due to life circumstances. You may move, develop different interests, or become busy with school. Friendships may also end due to a disagreement. Regardless of why you've lost touch with a friend, it's not too late to try to reconnect.
You may not know how to contact your old friend. You may not have a phone number, email address or home address. With today's technology, social media can make it relatively easy to locate someone. You can use Facebook, LinkedIn or a Google search to find your friend. If you have a mutual friend, ask if she has contact information for your old friend.
You have nothing to lose if you find an old friend and contact him, says Isadora Alman, a board-certified therapist and author of "Reconnect by Looking Back" on the "Psychology Today" website. You can call or email, though email may be less awkward, depending on the circumstances. Tell your friend you've been thinking about him, miss his friendship, and would like to reconnect. He may be thrilled to hear from you and want to reestablish a friendship. If he doesn't respond or responds negatively, don't take it personally. You tried to reconnect and won't be left wondering what could have been. You may be in different places in your life or your friend may not be able to let go of a grudge.
Acknowlege the Lapse in Friendship
If you had a falling out, acknowledge and accept responsibility for your part in it. Friends who had a disagreement may be able to appreciate their past positive shared experiences and reconnect, rather than focus on a negative event, says Dr. Nancy Kalish, a professor emeritus of psychology at California State University, Sacramento, and author of "Your Old Friends" on "Psychology Today." If you grew apart for other reasons, explain why you have been out of touch. For example, maybe you were focused on a hobby or were nurturing a new relationship with a significant other.
Reestablish Your Friendship
If your friend wants to reconnect, it may take time to get to know each other again. You might still share similarities or you could have grown in different directions. Suggest getting together for coffee or taking a walk together. If she doesn't live nearby, you can catch up via phone, Skype or email. Reconnecting with a friend requires commitment to the friendship. Your friendship won't evolve if you don't put in the time and effort necessary for it to grow, says HelpGuide.org in "How to Make Friends."
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