How to Deal With Your Ex-Boyfriend on Campus

Surrounding yourself with friends may help you feel less vulnerable.
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If your ex-boyfriend is on campus, you might feel anxious and nervous to see him. Perhaps you were the one who ended your relationship, and he has tried to manipulate you into getting back together with him. Maybe it is the opposite, and he broke up with you but still wants to stay in contact. If seeing him is uncomfortable and awkward, there are steps you can take to avoid him. However, you may also learn to live with his presence and maybe even become casual friends. Nearly half of all college students -- 47.2 percent -- were in intimate relationships, according to the American College Health Association. With relationships commonplace in college, many students successfully deal with the presence of exes on campus.

1 Surround Yourself with Friends

If you have to see your ex-boyfriend at school, surround yourself with friends who know your history. While learning to stand up for yourself is also a good idea, it doesn't hurt to have a support group. Make sure they understand that you are adjusting to the idea of being around your ex, and that it will take time to build a casual relationship with him. As you learn to deal with seeing him, his presence on campus will become less significant.

2 Take a Different Route to Class

If running into your ex is something you want to avoid, take note of the way he usually walks to class and be deliberate about avoiding it. It might mean walking through some academic buildings or taking the scenic route, but it will be worth not having to strike up conversation with him. It may also be helpful to notice when he eats in the cafeteria so that he does not attempt to sit with you.

3 Become Friends

You may not like the idea of becoming friends with your ex-boyfriend, but unless he is dangerous or exhibits stalker-like behavior, you may find that you actually enjoy his company. Most people cannot remain friends after a breakup, according to Susan J. Elliott, a relationship coach, counselor and speaker. But you may find you are the exception, rather than the rule. This may be especially true if you broke up a long time ago and the atmosphere between you is no longer emotionally charged.

4 Get Help

If your ex-boyfriend will not stop talking to you, it may be time to get more serious help from authorities on campus. Let the security at your school know about your situation. It qualifies as harassment if your ex insists on being around you when you do not wish to be around him. The leaders on campus will be aware of your situation and will take steps to make sure your ex stays away from you. If he does not, he will face serious consequences.

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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