If your brain goes blank, your palms begin to sweat and the stream of nonsensical words that leave your mouth makes you think that you'll never have the ability to confidently talk to girls -- it's really not that bad. Although it is very common to feel nervous around the opposite sex, you can overcome your anxiety and talk to that cute girl in your class with confidence and self-esteem.
When it comes to girls, striking up a conversation may seem daunting. If you can't come up with a cute or creative opener, prep yourself with a list of ice breakers ahead of time. Pick a technique like asking a favor, asking a question or making a strategic statement can break the ice, according to doctor of social and personality psychology, Jeremy Nicholson on the Psychology Today website. For example, approach the cute girl at the coffee shop and say, "Excuse me, but could you watch my table while I get a refill?" Follow this up with, "And what can I get for you?"
Focus on Her
Launching into a 10-minute monologue about your latest football game or how well you're doing in chem may not keep her attention. When you approach a girl you like, focus the conversation on her. Instead of trying to impress her with your own stories of accomplishment, ask about what she likes. For example, instead of saying, "I got an A on our math final. I thought it was super simple" say instead, "How did you do on the final? What did you think about the questions that the professor asked?"
While a cocky attitude won't get you anywhere with girls, confident assertiveness will. Speaking your mind in an honest, respectful way shows that you have confidence in yourself. If you aren't feeling assertive, try using "I" statements or asking for what you really want. Instead of waiting for a girl to tell you that she likes you, say something like, "I think that we get along well and would like you to go to dinner with me tonight."
Talking to a girl should include keeping your messages clear and honest. Instead of muddying the waters with a garble of confusing conversations, use a clear approach. Get your message across the way that you heard it in your head, don't play verbal games and be direct in what you say. For example, if you want to ask a girl out, don't confuse the message by saying, "I was going to the football game on Friday with friends and was thinking that maybe some other people could come along, but I don't really know." Try something with more clarity such as, "Do you want to go to the big game with me on Friday?"
- Comstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images