Finding true love is often a matter of timing, but the way you think about love can also affect your chances of finding it. When you fall into patterns of negativity and are critical toward yourself and those around you, these negative thoughts can affect your actions, explains cognitive therapist Robert Safion. If you are positive in your thoughts and actions, looking for the good in others, you can attract a larger pool of potential partners and create happy, healthy love once you start building your relationship.
An Open Mind
Although you may have some non-negotiable values, such as moral or religious views, keep an open mind and let go of preconceptions about potential dating partners you may have written off in the past. Think of every date as a potential true love, including old platonic friends or acquaintances you have not taken the time to get to know because they do not meet your initial ideas of who your ideal partner will be. You may find that you have more in common than you originally thought.
Focus on the Good
To attract and keep true love, overlook your prospective partner’s negative habits and quirks, ignoring or reframing them. For example, if you are quiet and meet someone who talks a lot, you can use his gregariousness as a source of energy and a chance to meet and socialize in ways you have not tried before. Think about his positive qualities, such as kindness, intelligence or communication skills, rather than your partner's shortcomings, suggests therapist Alana Ofman. Each partner brings both good and undesirable qualities to a partnership; focusing on the positive ones can strengthen your bond and make it easier to fall and stay in love.
Talk to Yourself
Self-talk runs through your mind all day long and positive thinking starts there, according to the MayoClinic.com article "Positive Thinking: Reduce Stress by Eliminating Negative Self-Talk." Notice the messages you tell yourself. For example, if you tell yourself that you are undesirable or will never find true love, remind yourself to stop. Replace these thoughts with positive affirmations, such as "I am worthy of true love." Repeat your affirmation in your mind each time you find yourself jumping to an automatic negative thought about your prospects, your partner or yourself.
Negativity can make you irritable, critical and self-conscious, which can lead to closed-off behaviors and a poor attitude. It can also release stress hormones, says psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell in her "Psychology Today" article, "Negativity is Like Second-Hand Smoke." By exuding confidence and practicing patience in your search for true love, you may attract positive partners with a healthy outlook on life.
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