Reasons Why People Choose to Take a Relationship Slowly

The beginning stages of a relationship are always exciting, and those exciting, initial butterflies occupy your psyche so much that all you can think about is your new romantic interest. When chemistry is involved, it is natural to find yourself wanting to spend all your time together. Benefits exist, however, to taking things slowly and allowing those feelings of anticipation to occur out over time.

When you move too quickly into relationship territory, you may miss some of the early warning signs that a relationship is not going to work, according to Twoofus.org, a website maintained by the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center This can be true of any relationship, as it often takes time for people to reveal some of their less desirable qualities. Perhaps your new paramour tends to become jealous or is battling personal demons that will make a genuine commitment difficult. If you allow yourself to get swept up in the potential romance too quickly, you might miss some of those signs you otherwise could have caught before getting in too deep.

It takes time to assess a person’s true character. You often also need to observe people in a variety of different settings, explains Susanne Alexander, a trained relationship and marriage educator, in the YourTango article, “Pace Not Race Through a Relationship.” You can see different sides of a person when you witness how they interact with their family, their friends and those outside their social circle. Perhaps your new crush is rude to servers or overly demanding of mom and dad. These can be signals of deeper character flaws you otherwise may not have recognized if you were relying solely on your one-on-one time to gauge your compatibility.

Often, taking things slowly is an important component toward building the emotional intimacy needed to maintain a relationship, according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, in the Psychology Today article, “Fulfillment at Any Age.” When you take the time to get to know each other instead of diving in head first, you can establish a deeper understanding of who your new partner is and what you each need from a happy relationship. This connection makes communication and conflict resolution easier to navigate as you move forward as a couple.

If you think about the butterflies of falling in love as your reserves for getting through rough patches in the future, taking things slowly means preserving the reserves you may need later on, according to Twoofus.org. Relationships can be difficult, and hurdles will present themselves that you need to overcome. By taking your time in the beginning stages of a relationship, you reduce the risk of that flame dying out when those hurdles appear, creating a relationship more likely to withstand the test of the time.