Taylor Swift's breakup songs may make the whole process seem simple, but that's rarely true in real life. Sometimes, it's obvious when you've fallen out of love with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Other times, you can feel confused and unsure. Knowing some of the common reasons that people fall out of love can help you navigate this complex stage of your relationship.
There are some things in life that duct tape can't fix. Broken trust is one of them. In a 2013 study at Cameron University, researchers found that a loss of trust was one of the biggest factors for someone to fall out of love. Perhaps you caught your girlfriend flirting with another guy at the mall behind your back, or maybe your boyfriend repeatedly promised to do something for you and never followed through. If you're not able to trust your significant other, this affects all other aspects of your relationship and can make love fade quickly.
A Matter of Time
In general, couples who enjoy similar interests and hobbies spend time doing those things together. This builds love. In contrast, if you find that your interests and hobbies are pulling you apart physically, it can also slowly pull you apart emotionally. This becomes even more true if one of you is doing something that the other person doesn't approve of. For instance, if your boyfriend likes to play video games all weekend and you don't approve of this, this may slowly create resentment and other emotions that kill love.
Character Traits 101
As you date, you slowly learn more about each other. Sometimes, people fall out of love when they discover more about their girlfriend or boyfriend's character traits and find areas where they're not compatible. For example, maybe you learn that your significant other cheats on all his school tests, or you discover that your girlfriend has a problem with drugs or alcohol and isn't a good influence. These can open your eyes to your partner's faults and make you reconsider your love.
The Inside Counts
Everyone has their personal, emotional journey to travel, and this affects the relationships they're in. If you or your partner has been through a difficult experience or is going through a difficult experience, such as depression or a parent's divorce, emotional gaps can happen between you two. For example, if you're sad about something in your life, your partner may get angry at you for always being in a "bad mood." This can drive you apart. During these times, it's important to keep communication open and honest and to share how you both are feeling. It may also help to talk to a trusted adult, such as a family member or school counselor.
- Canadian Living: 5 Signs You've Fallen Out of Love
- The Qualitative Report: A Phenomenological Study of Falling Out of Romantic Love
- Psychology Today: Are You Falling Out of Love? A Quiz on 10 Warning Signs
- Eharmony Advice: The Ten Biggest Reasons People Fall Out of Love
- Psychology Today: Falling Out of Love -- Step by Step
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