What Is Committed Love?

Commitment means making your relationship a primary aspect of your life.
... Digital Vision./Photodisc/Getty Images

Feeling a physical attraction or crush-like infatuation isn't the same relationship reality as having a true, committed love. Making a commitment means agreeing to stay together, as partners, for now and in the future, according to the article "Love and Romance" on the TeensHealth website. Understanding what committed love is can help you to distinguish between a real relationship and a casual fling.

1 Building Up

Committed love doesn't happen overnight. Although you can announce your intentions at any point -- even when the relationship is just beginning -- this type of love takes time. The building process includes revealing feelings, sharing emotions, listening to each other and supporting one another through thick and thin. As your relationship moves from a basic physical attraction and into a deeper sense of closeness, a loving form of commitment is likely to follow.

2 Excluding Others

Choosing committed love over casual dating means making the decision to be monogamous. Committing yourself completely to your partner, means loving her and only her. Instead of going out on dates with a different girl every night or having a few different girls who you are "talking to," commitment includes staying with only the one who you truly love. In this type of monogamous relationship, straying from your commitment -- or cheating -- isn't expected or acceptable. Infidelity can break the trust that your partner has in you, ruin the relationship and destroy your love.

3 Reaping the Rewards

Committed love offers rewards to couples who stay together. Some couples feel a commited love based on attraction. In this type of relationship your commitment comes from your desire to be with the other person or the romantic love that you feel, according to the article "Commitment in Healthy Relationships" on the North Carolina State University website. The rewards for true loves who commit to each other include regular support, affection and friendship.

4 Thick and Thin

Relationships, even committed and loving ones, aren't always easy. While you'll have your fair share of ups, you can also expect some downs as well. Expecting the intense passion instant love or infatuation brings to stick around may let you down in the long run. A committed relationship requires both partners to move through the good and the bad parts of the romance. Staying together when you're arguing, and not just when you're gleefully head over heals about each other, shows that the two of you have a strong commitment.

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

×