You and your girlfriend have been dating for a couple of months now, and you've settled into a routine of talking or seeing each other a few times a week. You have friends who think this is too little and others who say it is too much. But when it comes to matters of the heart, nobody can tell you what is right. It really is up to the two of you.
All the Time
When you first start dating someone, it is normal to want to see them all of the time, writes therapist Marie Hartwell-Walker in the Psych Central article, "Signs of a Controlling Guy." You probably want to see each other as much as you can -- and may even call to talk after seeing each other during the day. Though people vary in how much contact feels normal, most couples keep in touch very often at the start of a relationship.
What Works for You
After a few months, you will probably find you and your girlfriend don't need to spend every moment together. You will settle into a routine that works for each of you. Some couples might talk every day, while others might be OK going a week without contact. How much you talk or see each other should be in tune with what makes each of you comfortable, according to Hartwell-Walker. Beware of a controlling partner who demands all of your time or restricts your activities -- as these issues are likely to get worse. Healthy relationships involve a balance of time together and apart.
Depends on the Situation
How much you talk or see each other will also depend on your particular situation. If you both go to the same school, you will probably see each other and talk every day. If you don't attend the same school or live close to each other, you might talk on the phone daily but only see each other on weekends. If you are in a long distance relationship, it might be weeks or months between visits. You can use other means such as Skype or video chat to "virtually see" each other more regularly.
Be sure that whatever frequency of contact you maintain, the two of you keep up with your lives outside of the relationship, as discussed in the Teen's Health article, "Am I in a Healthy Relationship?" Keep your separate identities and give each other space to keep the relationship strong. When you have regular contact with other friends, you won't feel as dependent on your boyfriend to meet all of your social needs. When you meet again, you will have plenty to talk about.
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