What to Do When a Friend Tells You She's Not Your Friend Anymore
GRACE CALDERON
LIFE
We'd all love to believe that we'd keep the same friendships we've had all our lives, but unfortunately that's not always true. As quickly as we make those special connections with people, the hard reality is that feelings to change. So if one day, someone you confided in and called a friend decides she's changed her minds about you, there's no choice but to accept this reality. However, the question is: How do you bounce back from such a blow?
Process the reality of the situation. If someone has told you she no longer wants to be friends, do not dismiss her feelings. Instead, give yourself an opportunity to take in the situation and what she is telling you.
Accept your role in the situation. While you may want to believe that the other person may be wrong, be willing to accept that your actions in some way affected someone else. Her feelings have merit and should not be ignored.
Give the person her space. Yes, you may want to bombard her with questions, confront her or even get angry. However, that will only make things worse. At the same time, it is important you take your own space, too.
Identify opportunities to be a better friend. Think about the relationship and be honest. Are there ways you could have been better to that person? By taking a hard look at your friendship, maybe you could understand what may have went wrong.
Forgive yourself! You may want to be tough on yourself, but that will not help. Instead, understand it and take that as an opportunity to learn. You may not have been the best friend to that person but that does not make you an awful person.
Start over. Somewhere out there is a new person eager to be your friend. Don't brood over the past; open yourself up to meeting new people. Who knows? Maybe you will find that new best friend.
Give it time. Eventually, you will be able to look back on that friendship in a positive light, but it may not happen overnight. So, do not rush that process and eventually you will be able to savor those memories.
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