What Can You Say When Feeling Betrayed?

It isn't always easy to find the right words to address a betrayal.
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After a betrayal, one of the things you might want to do is to hurt the person who betrayed you, says Deepak Chopra in the "Oprah" article, "Deepak Chopra: 7 Things to Do When You've Been Betrayed (and 7 Not to Do)." Although it is natural to want to cause pain to someone who betrayed you, it is not a wise choice to do so. You may want to forgive the person. This is also natural and is a wise choice of action. First, however, you need to have a conversation about what happened, so you can clear up potential misunderstandings and so you can see where the other person is coming from.

1 Be Direct

Look at him in the eyes and calmly state your feelings. Use "I" statements such as, "I felt betrayed when you had lunch with your ex-girlfriend" or "I trusted you to keep my secret." You're more likely to have a productive conversation when you do so, rather than if you make statements such as, "You made me feel terrible," which will put the betrayer on the defensive. Continue the conversation with the reason you feel betrayed. You might say, "When you told me you were over your ex, I thought that meant you no longer saw her" or "I was really embarrassed to find out that you told Susan that I don't like her."

Elise Wile has been a writer since 2003. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training.