How to Approach It When a Girl Regrets Dumping You
STACEY ELKINS
LIFE
Perhaps you've been waiting for the moment that your ex-girlfriend comes to her senses and regrets breaking up with you. Now that the moment has arrived, you might not be so sure you want her back. Before giving your ex another shot, you should carefully consider if it's the right decision for you.
1 Decide What You Want
Rather than make a rash decision to take your ex-girlfriend back, it's important that you think through what you want. While it can be hard not to let your heart lead, try to be rational and think with your head. Take time and consider if taking her back is the right decision for you. Going back to your ex can feel safer than moving forward because you have a level of familiarity with her, writes licensed psychologist Suzanne Phillips on Psych Central. If you take your ex back, make sure it's because it's what you truly want, and not because you're lonely or don't want to go through the pain of your breakup.
2 Circumstances of Breakup
Breakups generally happen for a good reason. Prior to reconciling with an ex, it is vital that you consider the reasons behind your breakup, advises TwoOfUs.org, the website of the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. Perhaps your ex ended your relationship due to a history of fighting, a lack of trust or feelings for someone else. If you and your ex disagree on major issues, such as values and morals, or if you had problems that you weren't able to resolve, then your relationship is unlikely to work the second time around, warns TwoOfUs.org.
3 Look at Her Intentions
Think through the reasons behind your ex-girlfriend's regret of dumping you and wanting to get back together. Consider if her intentions are pure and out of love or perhaps another reason. If you've recently started seeing other people, consider if jealousy could be behind her desire to reconcile. Despite how strongly your ex may have felt about the breakup, the thought of you with someone else may make her question her decision, suggests Phillips. It's also important to consider if her desire might stem from loneliness or a fear of being alone -- which are not reasons enough to reconcile.
4 Making It Work
If you decide that you want to reconnect with your ex, you must be committed to making the relationship work. You and your ex must both put in time and effort to resolve any past issues, offer each other forgiveness for past offenses and make sure to leave the past behind, recommends TwoOfUs.org. While it can be exciting to reunite, take things slowly and be careful not to put too much pressure on each other, recommends psychologist Pam Spurr on the MSN Life & Style website.
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