While some men are able to end relationships and move on with their lives, letting go of romantic feelings for their exes, others continue to hold onto the old romance. There is no way to tell for sure whether your boyfriend is over his ex, says WebMD. However, by looking at your boyfriend’s behavior, you can get an idea about whether you are filling a void or whether your insecurities are just getting the best of you.
One of the first things to consider is the overall relationship you have with your boyfriend. For example, is he attentive to your needs? Do you feel loved? Do you feel comfortable talking to each other about your concerns? If everything in the relationship seems to be going well, chances are you may just be feeling insecure. Conversely, if you argue a lot and are not emotionally close, this could be a sign that your boyfriend is not over his ex and thus, not ready for a new relationship.
Too Much Contact with the Ex
Some people are able to maintain friendships with their exes while still having a healthy relationship with their new partner, but excessive contact with the ex might be a red flag that you boyfriend is not yet over his former love. There is no single way to define too much contact with an ex, but if you are uncomfortable with the amount of contact, this warrants talking to your boyfriend about, especially if his phone calls, emails or online chats with her are taking time away from you. For example, if he spends an hour on the phone with his ex when you are supposed to be watching a movie together, he might have lingering feelings.
No Investment in the Relationship
If your guy is not willing to commit to a relationship -- or even to concrete plans, like dinner next weekend -- this may be a sign that you are filling the void his ex left, explains the dating website eHarmony.com. Likewise, if your man does not returns your text messages or phone calls and only makes plans at the last minute, this may be a sign that he is not yet over his ex and is seeing you to avoid loneliness. In other words, if a man is not over his ex, he may simply turn to you when he feels the void.
Anger or Avoidance
Feeling upset or distressed after a relationship ends is normal, but if your man regularly makes hostile remarks about his ex and remains bitter toward her long after the breakup, this could be a sign that he is not over her. Likewise, if he refuses to talk about his ex at all, this could mean that he has not yet let go of feelings for her and may even be experiencing guilt over those emotions, explains WebMD. Even though asking him about his anger or avoidance might lead to an awkward conversation, it can also be an opportunity to improve your communication skills and help save your relationship, regardless of how your boyfriend feels, says marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall.
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