How Should Girls Ask to Pay on a First Date?

Although there might be societal pressure for a guy to pay on a first date, don’t be afraid to be vocal about your desire to take care of the bill. Be polite, but don’t hesitate to let him know that you are serious about paying. Many men would be OK with a woman offering to pay for a date, according to the study "Who Pays for Dates? Following Versus Challenging Conventional Gender Norms" conducted by David Frederick, assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University, in 2013. However, when you reach for your purse, he may just think you are doing the gesture out of politeness. According to the survey, 57 percent of female respondents offered to pay, but 39 percent admitted that when they did, they wanted the man to insist she would not have to. So, if you want to convince him to let you pay, don’t stop at reaching for your wallet.

If you initiated the date, you may not even have to fight to pay because he may already be expecting you to cover the costs. It seems that an acceptable reason to pay for the date is if you did the asking out. According to a survey conducted by LearnVest and TD Ameritrade in 2013 and cited in the Forbes.com article "Who Should Pick Up the Check on a Date?" the majority of respondents believe that a man should pay for the first date, but 42 percent believe that whoever suggested the date should pick up the check. If you are asking a guy out on a date that you planned, in a way, you are implying that you will pay for the date since it was your idea.

He may resist letting you get the bill, but if you tell him he can pay for the next date, this might put him at ease a bit. Promising that he can pay for the following date assures him that you are not planning on paying for every date. It will also excite him because it means that you are willing to go out with him again. It will also make him feel less guilty about letting you pay because he knows that there will be more opportunities for him to cover the costs for future dates.

As much as you persist, he may not budge. In this case, you will have to make a compromise and suggest splitting the bill. If he still has an aversion to letting you pay for his meal or movie ticket, let him pay for his and insist on paying for your own. According to Frederick's survey, 76 percent of male respondents said they felt guilty when a woman paid for his expenses. However, 64 percent of men reported that they would be OK with -- if not happy with -- splitting the bill.