Do You Need a Spark to Be in Love?

That butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling is exciting and can be spurred by physical attraction. You may not be able to sleep because you are so infatuated with the guy that you can't get him out of your head. Those feelings could also be brought on by fantasies of who you think he is (not necessarily who he truly is), according to the blog post, "Fake vs. Real Love - A ‘Chemistry’ Lesson," on counselor Laura Schlessinger's website.

Some stress the importance of chemistry, but that may not be enough to sustain a true relationship. When you are in a long-term relationship, those initial feelings of excitement eventually die down. If you do not have more than a spark to fuel your relationship, it won't last. That chemistry could fade once the honeymoon period is over. At that point, you may realize that the person you idealized is not who you thought he was.

Because a spark is not enough to maintain a relationship, try giving the person a second chance if she ticks all the other boxes, said psychologist Laurie Betito, quoted in the Match.ca article "No Spark? Give It Another Chance." Physical attraction may not develop until you know the person more. Betito stresses the importance of compatibility over chemistry. If you meet someone you get along with who has similar interests and moral beliefs, you will have a stable foundation for a long-term relationship. If the attraction and chemistry is strong but your family and life values differ, the relationship will fizzle as soon as the sparks die.

While it is good to give love a chance to grow, if there is still no attraction after that second or third date, it is important to know when to move on. Schlessinger doesn't believe in trying to force an attraction if there isn't any. Romantic relationships require passion and it is unfair to both of you if your feelings are insincere.