How to Be a Pallbearer. Being a pallbearer is a weighty responsibility. Practice an upbeat attitude while maintaining the respectful stoicism that funerals require. Remember that you are a representative of the family of the deceased, so act accordingly.

Dress in a simple black suit or dress. The more conservative, the better. Avoid colorful, brash outfits at all costs.

Follow the directions of the pastor, preacher or funeral director. Make sure you know exactly what your duties entail before the fact. Remain quiet and still until asked to perform your duties.

Mingle with the funeral attendees. Thank them for coming, and express your own condolences to the family, friends and loved ones of the deceased.

Take long, deep breaths to steady yourself. Go outside and practice a meditation exercise prior to the casket carrying, if necessary.

Walk slowly and steadily, making sure to gauge the tempo of the other pallbearers as you carry the casket.

Things Needed

  • ['Black Dresses', "Dark Men's Suits", 'Flower Bouquets', 'Green Tea']


  • Sip a soothing ginger or peppermint tea prior to the funeral to soothe your body and soul. Send a bouquet of flowers to the family, to arrive at the funeral parlor prior to the service. Include a personalized sympathy card.