Great Ways to Get Over an Unrequited Love
Falling in love can be an exhilarating feeling, but not when your feelings are unreciprocated. Unrequited love is a terribly frustrating, disappointing and painful experience. You're mourning for someone you never had, yet it can be just as devastating as a breakup. However, you can get over an unrequited love and move forward with your life.
1 Accept the Reality
Part of getting over an unrequited love is accepting the reality of the situation. You need to accept that the object of your affection does not reciprocate your feelings and that you can't control how the other person feels. You can't control the decisions that she makes; however, you can recognize that her decision is likely the right decision for her, says Debby Herbenick, author of "Unrequited Love and Lust: When The One You Want Doesn't Want You Back" on the Psychology Today website. You need to let go of the hope that she will love you back.
2 Deal With Feelings of Rejection
Loving someone who doesn't return your love can make you feel rejected. Dealing with those feelings is an important part of moving forward. Rejection bruises a person's ego and he often blames himself, thinking he must be flawed, and criticizes himself for the behavior that resulted in his rejection, says Carmen Harra, a clinical psychologist and author of "How to Deal With Rejection" on the Huffington Post website. As hard as this can be, try not to take your unreciprocated love personally. Unrequited love does not mean that you are inadequate in any way, shape or form. It only means that your love interest does not return your love. Harra suggests that you remind yourself of the positive qualities and characteristics you possess. For example, remind yourself how kindhearted and generous you are, or how you light up a room with your charismatic personality.
3 Cut All Ties
Continuing to communicate with someone you love who does not love you back can be very painful. It can also be hard to get over someone when you regularly communicate with or see him. Cut all ties with him. Do not call, text, email or use social media outlets as a way to keep tabs on him.
4 Grieve Your Loss
While you never had a relationship with the object of your unrequited love, the pain and heartbreak you are experiencing is very real. With unrequited love, your heart aches for someone you never had and for what you wish you had. You need to grieve the loss of your hope to be with that person and for them to return your feelings before you can get over your unrequited love. A key part of getting through your pain is maintaining hope and having a support system, says Karla Helbert, a therapist and author of "Is it Harder to Mourn an Actual Loss or Loss of an Ideal You Never Had?" on the GoodTherapy.org website. You can take your "hope" in baby steps, such as hoping you make it through the day without crying. It's important to confront your feelings and let yourself grieve. Share your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend. You may also find crying or writing in a journal to be cathartic.