What Is the Difference Between Finding Someone Attractive & Being Attracted to Someone?

Just because someone is attractive to you doesn't mean you have feelings for her.
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People often treat attractiveness and attraction as the same thing, but they really aren't. In reality, these two concepts get at similar but different ideas. You can find someone attractive, but you still may not be attracted to them. This distinction may help you better understand your own feelings towards other people.

1 The Grand Distinction

The difference between being attracted to someone and finding her attractive lies in your feelings. Dr. Heidi Reeder, writing for "Psychology Today" online, points out that people experience attraction in different ways. Attraction as many define it is often romantic, in which you desire an emotional relationship, or physical, in which you want a physical relationship, in nature. These forms of attraction aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Finding someone attractive, on the other hand, just pertains to feeling as though someone is objectively beautiful or appealing, but not wanting a romantic or physical bond with her. Attractiveness can be based on other things, too, such as how similar you are in your hobbies or overall mood. These feelings certainly may overlap -- you can find someone attractive and be attracted to them.

S. Grey has a Master of Science in counseling psychology from the University of Central Arkansas. He is also pursuing a PhD and has a love for psychology, comic books and social justice. He has been published in a text on social psychology and regularly presents research at regional psychology conferences.