How to Comfort Your Girlfriend When She Is Crying

Be nearby if she asks you to be.
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Very little terrifies guys more than a crying girl. They may become immobilized by fear, staring at the tear-filled snake which is surely going to bite them. This reaction is not without cause. Until you know her well, there is no way to guess how a girl is going to respond to interference with her emotional moment. According to Alan Fogel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, "A good cry is restorative, creative, and cleansing." All she might need is time to get it out.

1 Relax

You are going to have to calm down. She has enough of her own stress; she doesn't need yours, too. Take a very quick second to breathe and let go of whatever tension you are riddled with. She needs you to be steady, especially if she can't be. Do that for her. Be her calm in the eye of the storm or whatever peaceful thing you imagine yourself to be and stay that way.

2 Ask What You Can Do

Being a guy means you likely want to fix whatever is broken so you do not have to deal with it anymore. This is no time for that. She doesn't need fixing; she needs comforting. Ask her what you can do for her. This is a very different question than asking her what she needs. The word "need" is too huge in the midst of crisis. Action is better, so ask what you can do, then obey, even if the answer is "nothing."

3 Be Silent

Listen to her regardless of whether she is pouring out all the words she has ever learned or saying nothing at all. Watch for the cues she gives you to respond, such as looking at you as though waiting for a reply or asking you a direct question. Otherwise, say nothing. This is safest. Girls often do this thing where they talk or introspect until they sort things out for themselves. You don't have to understand it; you just have to respect it.

4 Be Near

One of things girls are pretty good at is letting you know how close they want you to be. Some may want to be rocked in your lap while others may be comforted simply knowing you are in the next room. Wherever she wants you, there you shall be. She only needs to know you are available to her. Be willing to go where she leads and plan on staying there until she says otherwise. If you don't know how close she wants you, ask her. She will tell you.

Since 1995, Sharideth Smith has written everything from 400-word blog posts to political platforms. Her work has been featured on various online publications and she has a solid following on her own website where she has been doling out relationship advice since 2009.